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I Keep Failing: A Poem on Resilience and Fear
A poem on resilience and the fear of failing — the exhausted, honest version of getting back up, and the quiet dread that one day you might not.
There’s a version of resilience that gets sold as a clean story — fall down, get up, repeat, win. The honest version is messier. Sometimes the getting up is exhausted, and the fear of one day not getting up is the quietest part of the whole thing.
This poem is the honest version.
I keep failing
And that’s okay
Because I keep trying
But I’m tired
And I’m scared
That one day
I might stop
The strongest people I know aren’t the ones who don’t get tired. They’re the ones who keep going while tired, and who let themselves admit, sometimes, that the well isn’t bottomless. The admission is what makes the next attempt sustainable. The pretending is what burns it down.
If you’ve been trying again at something for a long time, and there’s a small voice underneath asking how long you can keep this up — the voice isn’t weakness. It’s the part of you doing the math. Listen to it. Rest where you can. Then go back to it.
— JTC